Wasn't Jesus the original hippie? With his sandals, dress and kind, compassionate, tender, joyful nature? What a loaded word that is! I am oftentimes called a hippie – in some ways, I am, some not. I am an Older Mom with Young Kids and Older Kids, Four in All – Remarried, Striving to make a Step Family with Love and God's help.
Bear with me; Even if you think this does not apply, it does:
I have had, since my dad passed away suddenly from a heart attack twenty four years ago, difficulties with anxiety. If you do not have problems with anxiety, you will not know what I am speaking of. ‘Oh, sure, anxiety. Everyone gets anxious now and then.’
I’m not speaking of that type of anxiety. I am speaking of debilitating anxiety; the type where it stays with you the entire day, and everything that you do, you have to do ‘past your anxiety’, meaning getting through the anxiety first, as if you were carrying a newborn baby around with you 24/7. Your first thoughts are always on the anxiety[newborn]. The kind that leads to agoraphobia – avoiding places and staying in your house. The kind that can easily lead to a full blown panic attack where you are absolutely positive that you are dying and you feel this all encompassing dire need to ‘get away’, but you have no idea where to.
I’ve managed this anxiety in different ways throughout the years: antidepressants, alcohol and over-eating mainly. As I age, I have been looking for other ways, such as exercising, meditation, yoga and Women’s Circles.
But I’ve also realized that avoidance does not work and that sometimes the best way is straight through.
These past seven days without my donuts, my afternoon beer and my hamburgers, I have had to deal with more emotions and in a larger quantity than I normally do: anxiety, anger, fear … but I sense it .. that freedom on the other side.
And I’ve also had some very peaceful, beautiful moments this past week too. There’s always a price, right. When you take away that ‘ability to feel’, you take it away on both ends: bad and good.
You know I have realized as I get older, we are pretty much all the same. Just some of us have learned better coping skills.
It’s never too late.
It really impressed upon me from the beginning of the Engine Two Diet book, how when Rip Esselstyn became a Fireman, he had this idea of the rescues that he would be doing.
But the reality was the large majority of rescues were of people who had put themselves in the situation due to their diets and lifestyles: the diseases that come along with extremely overweight people, heart attacks, and the like.
Which makes this just perfect for my other passion: Women’s Circles, which are all about learning to stop looking everywhere else for the ‘answers’ and start looking within yourself. Why not save your health at the same time you’re there. 😉
I wish I could sit here and say I felt fantastic this past week. Don’t get me wrong, there were periods that I did. But I also felt a lot of aches and pains, fear, anxiety, pissed off and sad … but I still did it. Seven days without dairy, meat, sugar, enriched flour and alcohol. And I’m really proud of myself for it.
BTW: I also lost 5 pounds and my blood pressure dropped to 129/83 from its regular average of 142/81.
*And I would LOVE to hear that somebody read this and was motivated. I do not care for writing these diet blogs. But they’re going to help keep me accountable, and if it can help motivate someone else as well … awesome!
Colette O'Neill, Innovator of Goddess Permaculture ~Writer ~ Teacher ~ Photographer
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