Wasn't Jesus the original hippie? With his sandals, dress and kind, compassionate, tender, joyful nature? What a loaded word that is! I am oftentimes called a hippie – in some ways, I am, some not. I am an Older Mom with Young Kids and Older Kids, Four in All – Remarried, Striving to make a Step Family with Love and God's help.
I am embarrassed to admit that I watch The Bachelor Series. I freely admit that it is eye candy with little redeeming value, but the psychology behind it fascinates me, especially the ‘unrealness’ of Reality TV and trying to observe how people change when they are on camera. As a Radio/Television/Film graduate from the University of Texas, I feel as if it is a continuation of a study of social phenomena from our current culture. I am getting class credit for this, correct?
And what does it say about us in general?
First off, wow, I am amazed at the viciousness of the general public towards Juan Pablo who went from being one of the most popular bachelors in the beginning of the show (Chris Harrison had never seen a bachelor who affected women this way) to the most unpopular of Bachelors.
At the ‘After the Rose‘, you could have cut the tension in the audience with a knife. You could feel the disapproval oozing from their pores. Thank God they did not have a rope, or they would have hung him. And oh my God, check out the comments he gets on his Facebook page. They are vicious.
Is he deserving of this general contempt?
I think that things started going south for him when Charleen the Opera Singer left. She had a great ‘save’ for herself, when Chris asked her outright if she was calling Juan Pablo too stupid for her.
‘Oh no, I just meant that I think too much’, (or something close to that effect) was her answer.
Sure, Charleen. ‘And he doesn’t,’ should have been your next phrase. Because according to video, you repeatedly said you were looking for that ‘cerebral connection’ that you had not felt and that traditionally you have dated nerdy, brainy guys.
Call a Spade a Spade.
But the public was okay with her because she said the right thing to the effect of ‘I should have just trusted that physical connection, but I just could not turn off my thinking about it.’ Poor Charleen, the brainy Operatic Princess.
Funny as you now hear accusations that Juan Puablo is cruel, did this for the wrong reasons and unthinking as to the ‘harm’ he has caused these girls.
But yet, throughout the show, you repeatedly hear the opposite: how much he did think about these girls and how they would fit in each other’s lives after the show.
Next up in his demise was Andi. He was a goner as soon as her father made that face.
As a public defender, Andi did a great job of bringing the real Juan Pablo to light, the man who when the cameras were off, did not turn to her and soothe her ego, but instead, breathed a sigh of relief and perhaps talked a bit too much about himself.
An integral part of the façade of this show is that the Bachelor or Bachelorette must make each of the 27 contestants feel as if it really is a ‘real’ relationship and that they are the only ones.
Part of what fascinates me on the show, a show that has been on for twelve years now and you know that the contestants have watched it, but yet, repeatedly, they naively act as if what they have between the Bachelor is ‘real’ and that none of the others must have anything close to it.
Juan Pablo’s biggest error was not playing along with this façade but instead openly admitting to the final girls ‘sure, I like you, but I also have 2,3, 4, 8 other girls that aren’t so bad either.’
Ha! Not exactly what a girl wants to hear, and as soon as Andi wised up to this, she was out of there.
I mean, Jeez Louise, who cares the guy didn’t ask you your favorite color, he was more concerned of the big picture figuring out if there was a possibility for your two lives to match up.
Good on him that he figured out Clare was not going to be an answer. Sure, they had physical attraction and Clare impressed me from the start with her close family and doting deceased father.
But you could also quickly tell that her maturity is not quite there and that her ego quite often got the best of her. Not the best fit at all for someone who has the possibility of becoming a Stepmother.
You often heard from the girls in reference to Camila, ‘oh sure, we’ll be just fine. I’ve always wanted to be a Mom. It’ll be fun.’
Wow. You may have always wanted to be a Mom, but believe me-you, you have Not Always Wanted to be a Stepparent. I have firsthand knowledge and experience that with step parenting, you get all of the work and more, and way less of the benefits.
Step-parenting requires a huge amount of ‘big picture’ with little regard for personal validation as often there is none, not something that I saw Clare doing, but perhaps Nikki with her ’no-nonsense’, sometimes critical but realistic outlook on life might be able to accomplish.
My son says the Bachelor reminds him of Hunger Games, and I see that. Honestly, it is rather scary to see the ’Herd Mentality’ in action.
Do I think that Juan Pablo might be a bit vain and have done this to take advantage of some of the money-making opportunities?
Yes, but c’mon guys, you can say that about every one of the Bachelors and the Bachelorettes. We’re not sitting there watching 27 people with potbellies, receding hairlines and bad dressing. These are ‘cream of the crop’ people as far as looks go who are willing to be on television and in the public eye. Are you going to blame Juan Pablo for that?
Me, personally, I absolutely loved it, when at the very end, when Juan Pablo looked at Nikki, winked and said, “I like you a lot’.
And three cheers to Nikki for ‘taking that’ as you know the crowd would have cheered wildly had she played the haughty, princess role she was supposed to and proclaimed, ‘well, that is not enough.’
After dating 27 different women in exotic locales across the world and in front of a camera with a daughter, an ex-wife and a close knit family to think about, you should be able to get down on one knee and profess your undying love.
Even if that meant twelve months later, you would again make the news for your break-up, but you would have had the support of the public if you had ‘played your role’ better and not bit the ‘hand that fed you’ as whats-her-face said.
And so what if he lives with his parents, that means he gets along with his parents well enough to do so. And how dare he still have a ‘special bond’ with the mother of his child. Far better if he can’t stand to be in the same room as her.
Good on you, Juan Pablo for your integrity.
You may have done what none of the other contestants in the past twelves years have been able to do: make me stop watching the show.
I will watch something as long as I don’t think it is causing ‘harm’.
My opinion has now been changed watching all of the general public’s ill will towards you for doing nothing more than being honest and refusing to play a role.
Juan Pablo, you may not have said ‘all the right things’ at the right time as the other ‘successful’ bachelors and bachelorettes have done, but you spoke your truth without regard for the outcome.
I wish you and Nikki the best together or apart as the future will tell. More importantly, as this season has surely shown, it is none of our business either way.
Colette O'Neill, Innovator of Goddess Permaculture ~Plantswoman ~ Teacher ~ Writer and Photographer
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